These days we are all some what caught in an "Internet lifestyle", so here are some things you can do in the horrific event your ISP goes down...
1. Dial 999 immediately.
2. Open the curtains to see if anything has changed over the past 2 years.
3. You mean there's something else to do?
4. Threaten your ISP with an impeachment notice.
5. Work.
6. Re-introduce yourself to your immediate family.
7. See if your eyes can still focus to distances further than 3 feet.
8. valium... valium! Where the hell is the valium!
9. Do shopping with clothes on.
10. Check your mail box every 15 minutes
11. Get out a magazine and retire to a "quiet place"
12. Check your mobile to see if you have any numbers of anyone you actually want to meet!
That's a start, what other suggestions can you come up with?