I'm a software engineer and a writer, so it need not be said that my spare time is virtually non-existent. After college, I dove right into my career, never looking back. In fact, in retrospect, my free time in college was just as paltry as it is now, devoting most of my off-campus hours to study.

Is it no wonder why my social life was inevitably empty? It seems so simple now that I think about it, but such is the youthful mind. The few dates I did manage to snag in college ended on the friendship tip or in disaster. I can recall a woman spending about 95% of her time chattering on her cell phone all throughout dinner.

A few years ago I decided to give online dating a try. The concept seemed incredibly convenient and easy: create a profile, send out a few comments and hope for a reply. In hindsight, I think I approached the entire online dating thing much like I approached a software project at work; having little experience, it was the only way I knew how to do it.

I managed to meet a few women during my online dating search. Phone numbers were exchanged, conversations were had and date destinations were established. It was a refreshing change from the monotony of work; or so I thought. I never intended for my work to interfere with my personal life, but I now realize that it was harder to separate the two. Always wanting to get ahead in my career, I would repeatedly cancel or cut-short dates due to work engagements. Excuses abound.

Is it no wonder why my online dating search ended with little success? I failed to get into a "dating" mentality; in essence, I failed to know exactly what I wanted. For all the workaholics out there, I'd like to share a few of the lessons I learned along the way.

Am I a Workaholic?

The first step is to ask your self this question. Do you live and breathe your job? Addiction doesn't just apply to substances: you can be classified as an addict if by your doing something it begins to interfere with your normal daily activities. The first step into quelling a problem is to admit that the problem exists.

Would you consider yourself a workaholic? Or have you simply fallen into a downward spiral of working long hours? Do you use your work to fulfill some empty void within your life? Once you identify the root of your problem, you can begin to do some gardening.

Get your Priorities in Order

Are the hours that you work necessary? Ask yourself a deep question: do you use your work hours as an excuse to avoid potential dates? Is there some sort of unidentified apprehension? Maybe your boss is on your back all the time. Of course, work emergencies do arise, but understand that you are at the helm of your life; you control it, not your boss.
Give your Date your Full Attention

The date with the women with a cell phone super glued to her ear was the most obnoxious person I'd ever met. Either she was completely bored with my company or she had felt a need to advertise how popular she was.

Anyway, you're going to need to balance your work life with your personal life. When on a date, it's paramount that you give your date proper respect. Always pay them your attention and acknowledge and respond to what they are saying. This is a great way to build the cornerstone of a successful relationship. Remember you're not at work! Push thoughts of that spreadsheet into the back of your mind and concentrate on your date. Communication is the key here.

Listen to what your Married Friends have to say

From the mind of the single person, it appears that married couples can break some of the golden rules when it comes to work, especially business emergencies. Married people sometimes seem to catch breaks, getting off early because they must pick up the kids or prepare dinner. Is this fair? Are you any less important because you are single? It can be hard to ask your boss if you can punch out early when your excuse doesn't consist of picking up the kids at daycare. Simply put, you shouldn't even need an excuse of this magnitude. You can simply say "I have an engagement I must attend to"; this should suffice.

Build upon your Personal Life outside of your Business Life

Are the majority of your friends at work? If so, you need to spend some time doing something else, like concentrating on your hobbies. Make new friends outside of your work circle; this is a good way to expand your horizons and will lead to conversations where your work is not the prime subject.

Is there anything more annoying when someone babbles on about their work problems? Don't fall into this circle. Your dating success depends on it. Happy dating!